Meaningful Pursuits

Masters Tennis Memories

The Women's qualifiers started this weekend and I think this year is the beginning of the wind down (or unwind out) of the tradition of tennis (ironic after my"Traditions Evolve" blog  the other day).  I have seen every Tennis final since 1981 (that is my best estimate).  I volunteered  at the ATP from 1981 - 1991; then we got the box seats (the year Jenna was born and we were determined to still go with her in the carrier).  So we have been Box Seat holders for 19 years. 

I think 29 years almost counts as a tradition and with Jenna's interest,  it looks like it will move to another generation (another factor in the definition of tradition).  The memories are wonderful - late nights with my brother D'Lane, the rain out and move to Harpers Point; the lighting storm that Susan and I survived;  Ellen's fibrile siezure; Jenna at one month old in the box; Jenna and Sarah ballgirls; the tennis groupie; D'Lane and Vana volunteering; Mom and Dad enjoying the Championship Club; Clarks and Painters at the Finals; Paul and Jazz mid week; Julia and Sarah on a cold Saturday morning; Susan crying after returning from delivering Jenna to Miami; the list can go on and on.

Do I remember who won the finals on any given year (even last year)? - NOT.  All my memories are about family, friends and the events that surround them.  The Tennis event was just the  excuse to create the memory.

Family Duty and Honor

Several years ago I was listening to Dr. Laura and she read an email with a Native American Story.  My memory fades but it was about a Grandfather, Father and Son/Grandson. 

The grandfather who was aging and frail (he could no longer even walk) was becoming a burden on the tribe and father.  The father instructed his son to make a bed out of tree limbs, place the grandfather in it and drag him up the mountain and leave him there to die.  The son initially protested being so close to his grandfather, but did as his Father told him.  The next day the two of them put the old man on the carrier and spent the day hauling him up the mountain.  They set him up by a rock and made him comfortable and after saying the tearful goodbye's the Father turned to walk back down the mountain.  The son turned to join him and began dragging the empty carrier back down the hill.  The father turned and told him, "Son don't worry about the carrier - just pick up the pace".  The son replied - "But Father, I will need this for you".

We learn by example.

Read the Writing on the Wall

Driving back from downtown, I see the city workers diligently painting gray over the concrete underpasses marked with graffiti.  The war on graffiti continues.  The vandalism of writing on public property without consent for what purpose?  --- Political statement; marking territory; statement of love; unleashing profanity; secret code; or "because it's there".

Jenna was only once an artist on her bedroom wall.  Ellen had no incident.  Both were creative in marking their skin at different times.  Tattoos might we considered a mobile graffiti - although it remains completely legitimate since you are writing on private property - your skin.

The other day Jenna attended with her friend  (and Ellen was along for the ride) in the ritual of getting a tattoo. As she was leaving someone said - "Hey Jenna what would your Dad do if you came back with a tattoo"

She didn't have to "Read the Writing on the Wall" for that answer.

Architect vs Builder

We met today with our Architect and Builder (Mark and Scott).  They have been part of our team since 1994 and the start of one of Susan & my loves - doing house projects.  It is amazing to see the architect and builder interact - the front end talking to the back end :)

Architects in the stroke of a pen take down walls, moves them and reconstruct  them as the builder winces and questions the drawings.  Meanwhile Susan and I listen to the interchange and attempt to guess the costs by the expressions and amount of ink.

My experience at Accenture taught me the value of planning before implementation - including the hard decision to pay the experts to talk and strategize  vs just do it. 

I think the best Architects have been Builders and the best Builders have studied Architecture.  You need both and both need each other.

Traditions evolve

Was listening to NPR and out popped this statement - "Traditions evolve".  Is that a contradiction?   How would you define Tradition?  multigenerational,  ancient, unalterable .......   Culture and custom are entwined with tradition.  I can't help but hear the song by Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof - Traditions.

Evolution is the product of two opposing forces: processes that constantly introduce variation in traits, and processes that make particular variants become more common or rare.  So will a tradition un-opposed become so rare it dies?
If so that means Traditions must evolve.

Change is a funny thing - full of ying and yang.

Time after Time

I've been circling the paradox of time in daily readings of Peter Kreeft.  He specifically contrasts Chronos with Kairos - both Greek words with time implications.  Chronos (Father time) is the sequential and quantitative measure of time while Kairos is the qualitative and undetermined period of time (a time in between) - a time in which something special happens.

Memories (which have recently dominated my time) are a time shift.  "Memory gives a second life, a supernatural life to the past... it changes the meaning of the past; it transcends the law of cause and effect."

I liked his concept of the Flood of Time overwhelming the Dike of Memory.

Memories are magically charming as they are re-painted in the present over and over again.

Decision to Change

I've come to the conclusion that change means frequently modifying your points of reference - which means changing your mind.  Jenna has been in angst about her "life decision" on career - or more specifically what courses to take at Miami, what school (Business, Education, Nursing), what field of major (Marketing, K-12, Pediatrics), and/or even what University (Miami, Ohio State, UC). 

"I say look ....  If you've not changed your mind about something ever,  then pinch yourself ---- you may be dead"  Rev. Richard Cizik said on NPR "Fresh Air" yesterday (7/28/2010).  All decisions are about risk - the risk (and opportunity cost) of modifying or reversing that decision sometime in the future. 

I think we make too much about the enormity of the daily decisions we make each day - even those that put us on a path that looks permanent.  Yes each decision creates your past - but changing it defines your courage to redirect your future. 

Real Honesty

"To be honest", he added to his statement.  Should you believe that previous conversations may not have been entirely honest or that the person was silent purposely about the matter?  Where does diplomacy end and honesty begin? Is there such a thing as a "white lie" or partial truth?  Or is is black or white --- real or unreal?
 
Telling the truth is something we grow up with and learn with the issue of relationship management.  The comedy movie "Liar Liar" dealt with this (although I haven't seen it because I dislike John Carey movies).  The truth hurts or as Jack Nicholson said in his famous line of "A Few Good Men" - "You can't handle the Truth".  

Can you handle the truth?

"Our deepest desire is not for the desirable - but for the real -  if we are honest"  Peter Kreeft

Be a Good Example

My Mom was always telling us to "be a good example". Today in a discussion about Philanthropy Mike and I shared the question of whether giving is learned or inherent in people. I'm afraid it is learned like most things.

I liked Warren Buffet's answer to Willow May on how to raise of generation of children who really want to take on societies problems.

Warren Buffet Response:  "Well.. they will follow by example.  Well I mean not every child is going to do that. But generally speaking their parents, they start out as their heroes anyway. They want to do what their heroes do.  You tell me who your hero is and I’ll sort of tell you what you’re going to do.  If they see you behaving in a certain manner, I think they are likely going to pick up on it."

So "walk the talk" - be a teacher - be the hero and set the giving example.

Magic of Technology

"Even technology participates in magic, for it is the extension of our magic wands".  That quote from page 59 of "Everything you ever wanted to know about Heaven ...  but never dreamed of asking" by Peter Kreeft. 

Just think about how the Greeks and Romans would have reacted to a video camera - it would be supernatural and a sign from the Gods - magical. 

Fast forward 2000 years and video/audio wrist watches Dick Tracy were envisioned- so the imagination contemplated what is now available today - not magic just extensions of 1950's technology.  Star Trek envisioned "beam me up" and the Holodeck virtual reality and today we have supersonic transport and 3-D TV.

What would you call magic today?